It comes up a lot in conversation, “When will Riley and I start having babies?” We are going on 5 years of marriage now with no kiddos. We’ve loved our time together taking it slowly, but in our answer, you’d hear we are really beginning to want to start a family, but it’s not exactly where our lives are headed next.
While we are taking it slow still and pursuing other things first before children, it’s my biggest desire to be a mom and to stop working outside the home.
Before that begins we are planning two things first. One, Riley is at a comfortable place with his work to where he can support me as a stay at home mom. Two, Riley works a job he loves. Which has already begun. He started SOZO, LLC where he is now working full time as a web developer. And we all know start up businesses don’t just role in the money right away.
So here we are in this place where neither of us fully have what we are hoping for.
At my church, Rock Hill, we recently discussed when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a colt and a whole multitude of people praised God saying that Jesus was the king who comes in the name of the Lord.
It’s a confusing story because we know that Jesus was later rejected by these same people. It gives reason to believe that these people that once praised Jesus as a king were then thoroughly disappointed because God didn’t bring Jesus to be the king they had hoped for.
They perhaps hoped to see Jesus be king over them instead of the Romans. Yet that’s not what Jesus did. He instead established a new kind of kingdom – one of heaven and earth that transcended the Roman government or any world government for that matter. Seeing Jesus be put to death by the Romans, their desires crumbled. When they couldn’t understand why they weren’t getting what they hoped for, they distrusted Jesus and abandoned him.
One of my favorite words right now is meek. The dictionary defines the word as easily imposed on; submissive. In one of Jesus’s sermons before he rode into Jerusalem he said,
Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.
Better explained than in the dictionary, Jesus explains what meekness is in the context of this sermon. Jesus implies that meekness comes through your trust in God’s provision, whether it’s hardship or smooth sailing. Your trust that God is good manifests in this quiet, calm, easily imposed-on behavior the dictionary speaks of.
The Jews who once were praising Jesus, when they thought they were getting what they desired, then rejected Jesus when they didn’t get what they wanted. They revealed their behavior depended on their circumstances and not their trust in Jesus.
Like the Jews, I too have a choice in my response towards my current circumstance. My response reflects my meekness. If I choose to be meek, contentment overwhelms my soul.
While it’s a daily struggle to remember these things, as I reflect, I’d rather be content and have a trusting relationship with our God than struggle through life seeking control I don’t have.
Wanting to be a mother is a good desire that even God says is good. But it’s not my circumstance at the moment. And I’m okay with that by choosing to be meek and trusting God.